beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Sunday, October 15, 2006
woke up in the morning with stomach cramps which are strangely painful and me feeling nauseous. morning sickness? pregger? hmms. no idea. sucks to sleep at 3am in the morning and wake up at 730am just because of damn bad stomach cramps.
as my sem in uni is coming to an end.. my 2nd yr 2nd sem will be coming to an end.. i just wanna say that.. i become heaps nerdier. haha. made some really good friendships w Sam and Em but became nerdier. haha. strange to see how things go. other friends of mine in other states became heaps more happening.. while i reverted backwards to become a nerd... regressive assimilation? (some speech term u all will never understand and i dont wish to explain too)
Some friendships are dying. i refuse to believe and i am hallucinating that it is not the case but it never fails a friend of mine to consistently remind me that the friendship is dying. makes me wonder what will i do when im back in Sg. Pretty sure that friends will not contact me because oh! their new grp of friends are happening and very exciting and im this old boring girl who doesnt club, smoke, drink.. and it is at the age where people club, smoke, drink. it also never fails to make me wonder why people can change so drastically within a span of 2 yrs. and ps: my law on MSN is you dont bother me, and i dont bother you. if you start bothering me after a long time of not bothering me, i will still not bother about you. it is rare that i initiate conversations (maybe im suffering from some forms of pragmatic disorder too. hmms. ?PD or some funny dysarthria?) and so, hmms. lets just say that appearing offline is my most favourite status on MSN. Anti-social? i think so.
never liked people acting in front of me. never liked people pretending that they like the things i do in front of me. so, if u dont like shopping at kino for books, just probably leave me alone.
recently, conversation killer appeared on msn too. so much so that i do not want to even start talking on a topic. it is not particularly nice to have conversation killers on msn.. for eg, you dont go.. "hey bree, how're you today?" you go on to say something like.. "hey bree. (and then start criticizing)" a language sample and analysis on the PROMPT would say that this person is pragmatically disabled. 3 nights and on, and i am still harping on it.
to date, im no one who can judge my friends. im no one to say that they're self destructing, self-degrading their worth.. im also no one to say that they're ruining their lives.. for im no one to even judge. but im also entitled to my own personal opinion, my own choice of friends and so are they. respect their choice, respect my choice.
rattled on at my weekend mail about Mayo Clinic. oh well, i think it would be my last email to those people in Sg.. hurts me and makes me sad to realise that people dont read it and just delete my mails (click and delete). esp when i bother to send them emails? and they're people who ARE once close to me? for those who do and are reading this blog, i know what you did. since 2yrs ago. I know what you did. and since you dont bother, i shall not bother too.
does being 21 qualify the slow degradation of friendship? i always think that the friendster web thingy is a scam. as if for the fact that i added you on friendster, you will be my life long friend? some on mine are just mere acquaintances! and for that reason, i do not even bother abt checking it.
i wonder.. how to ever be there for a friend.. who doesn't even bother about you.. who only comes to you when their new grp of friends desert them. maybe i do it subconsciously too. just that my new grp of friends are my textbooks.. while their grp of friends are humans. how to repair something that is.. on the verge of breaking n spoiling and you dun have any idea to repair it? i seriously seriously wonder how to ever be for a friend who (1) doesnt bother what happens to you over the week (2) doesnt even care.
what pissed off words in the morning.. it is not only others that can get pissed off. behind that demeanour of mine, i still can get pissed off in the mornings. (dont you really just hate mornings that are disturbed?)
right now, i will void myself of all forms of human feelings and communication. spending too much time online talking to people. so, no love, no friendship, no msn, no everything.
its time to start studying.
ps: i will be contemplating a new blog. because the tagboard for this damn blog is giving me problems. dammit.
*brena*; timed 8:56 AM