beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Friday, October 13, 2006
something happened at home. a very sad thing happened at home. last night. just as i thought my week couldnt get any worse.
i said i cant cope with death well. why does death occur. welcome to the stage of being 20yrs old going to 21. in this stage, you will experience, somewhat or rather, a death of someone dear.
20yrs to 25yrs : someone you know will die.
25yrs to 30yrs: your attached friends will marry, everyone will be pestering you to get a bf/gf. if you're not attached then, people will ask.. "are you gay?"
30yrs to 40yrs: you face death of someone dearer to you.. might be your parents, might be your grandparents.. at this stage of life, it is mid life crisis for most people. do you really think that you're doing what you want? you start to reflect on ur life. what good you have done. what you could have done. you dwell in mid life crisis depression. everything in ur career starts going haywire.
40yrs to 50yrs: death in immediate family is imminent. someone will die.
50 to 70yrs: friends you know will die. those who dont take care of themselves when they're young will die. those who engage in smoking, drinking and excessive dumb activities will die. once again, you face death.
70 to 90yrs: spouses die. friends die. what are the things left in the world for you?
at every stage of life, we face death. im so not ready. i want to be young. aged 0 to 10yrs... where people describe death to you as "xxx is going to a far far away place. he will be happier. he will be protecting you from afar and giving you his blessings. he's just not going to be here for a long time." and since u are young and immature, things just happen and u brush it off. for you will just keep thinking that xxx will be home one day.
sometimes, i wish i had that childhood innocence to know that death is like that.
i had yk on msn for the longest time last night. i just want someone who will keep talking to me.. and i listen. i picture a scene at the playground. me crying. someone talking. just keep talking to me. just keep keeping me company. maybe until i fall asleep on the slide or the swing or the seesaw. that person can just stay by with me, keep me company until i fall asleep and see that i sleep properly. wanted to ring yk up while talking to me on msn. decided against it. i think i just needed the company. i think i really do need the company. nothing he said will enter in my head but at least i know that there's someone there for me. yk attempted to tell me jokes last night. apparently, somehow i didnt find it funny. in fact, i didnt know it was a joke. i had to ask him. he wasnt a bad joke-teller. it was just... i didnt get it.
thank you, yk. thank you, my dear.
at the bleakness of the night, there was people like you around.
death : (noun) a word that i never want to come across. a word that did make me cry quite a bit last night. a word that i dislike. but a word i have to face, a process i have to encounter some time/stage of my life.. i dont like the word. i dont like this stage. harsh.
thank you, yk.. for responding. (because people i thought who cared didnt.. esp those whom i attempted some catching up and disappeared on me recently.. cause im no longer the fun friend they know.. im the weirdo noob in their eyes now.)
ps: yk.. you're the best mate i can ever have. though you do disappearing acts on mobiles, do not check my blog, though you can be the lamest person around, you're also someone who i can tell everything without any reservation & just someone really great.
*brena*; timed 3:06 PM