beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Sunday, October 08, 2006
just now, went out w reuben+pey weon+joyce. the two girls were dragged along by me.. cybercity. food was still the same. still that huge portion.
sigh. it comes to some point of life where u seriously reflect on things. just because u have nothing to do. SM and i once had a really lengthy conversation that led to a debate (i wont call it an argument.. cause i will never argue with friends like him.. haha. he's in NUS Law Sch anyw. the more i wont argue.)
the convo included how im happy with the state of my life now. i have my friends, i have my family, i have my studies going on, i have my life in proper shape and control. stark contrast to JC.. where my family and i had a pretty screwed up rlnship, where my studies was more screwed up, where my life was in a mess. i think sending me overseas was the right decision after all.
i love my life now. to the extent that i think i should not let myself be weak. weak in terms of losing my control of my life. weak in terms of letting someone in. i once had so little ctrl of my life (during JC) and i suffered about 3 to 4 months of aftermath.. and spent 2 yrs and going, keeping it back in shape. too long for recovery. SM says that i have alot of baggage to unload in my next rlnship.. alot of courage needed.. and he also kindly reminded me that i have a biological clock that starts ticking soon... SM also kindly thanked him for reminding him to get back control in his life.
Reason being.. i have been thinking about people around me. close enough to say that they're my best friends.. one guy+one girl can never be best friends. dunno why.. lets just say that.. i have a male best friend and i like staying at that level. losing control is bad for your mental health.
i hate waiting for smses. i hate waiting for people to ring me up. i hate waiting. waiting is a sign of losing control of ur life.
lets just say.. i hate losing the control i have now, on my life. i hate losing it to someone not worth it. i hate waiting. i hate rlnships. (so anti) Alright, lets jus say. i fear them. i cherish control in my life. and i dont want to lose it.
anyw, to stay in Bris or go back home? Mum wants me to stay in Brisbane. My heart tells me to go home to support Jans. i dunno what to do. Rare that mum wants me to stay in Brisbane.
one wonders how i am going to deal with guys now.. even I dont feel like talking to that particular male best friend of mine now.. he's alr partially in control of my life.. and i dont like the way it is turning out. best friends should stay as best friends and should not proceed further than it... maybe im thinking too much. sigh. probably i dont even feel like talking to any guy now.
sigh. 2.48am. time for bed.
ps: i really hate to get my life into the spiral that it did in JC. i really hate it.
*brena*; timed 2:40 AM