beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
//-->
Friday, January 27, 2006
kk, i went to watch I-not-stupid-too.. it was on a sneak. in case you all dunno, my fascination about movies is that i like to watch it before others do. but anyway, that movie made me cry. though not as hard as the sec school students who were sitting behind me. they were bawling out their lacrimal glands.. crying and sniffing as though it was no one else's business. so, it was a good show.
tantamount to me and my geisha fascination. i watched it either on the first time slot of the opening day or its sneaks.
what have i been doing these days?
(1) realise that i have less than one month to going back brisbane. state of ambivalence again. so hard to stay, so hard to leave.
(2) went to NUS Engine and crashed some lectures. GOSH. i probably will not survive if i were in an Engine fac. CHEEEEEEM.
(3) read finish all my books. rape of nanking really changed my perspective of the Sino-Jap war. and it was from yesterday, i figured out how much my granddad and great granddad tolerated the japs.. esp the ladies of that generation. figured out i cant stare into a Japanese's eyes again cause.. i have developed a little sense of hatred.. ya, dont really like japs anymore.
(4) realised my keyboard on my laptop is cranky and i am unable to type my smiley faces cause the "0" or ")" key is insensitive. remind me not to have passwords with that key. also, my laptop is phased out already. this means it is obsolete. and uhm.. my laptop actually costs about $3000. which i didnt know.
i was looking back and those words of evil beings kept haunting me.. for example, "I would rather go home alone than to go home with brena.." by a certain person, who graduated from Ngee Ann Poly and studying in UQ Journalism now.. obviously, i have no idea that i have incessed such hatred against myself in him.. but lets just say this, if people have to hate me, i am not going to be bothered. cause there's a saying in the Bible, "Remember, if people persecute or hate you, dont forget the world persecuted and hated me first."
Oh well. i am not born into this world to let everyone love me or to please everyone with my character. i am born into this world to be the unique me. whether or not, i shall live up to my own principles and if people were to badmouth me, stab me in my back, persecute me, hate me.. it is their own way of living, their own way of getting back their own BAD karma. i do not give a damn. and remember what Tuesdays with Morrie said.. concentrate and focus on those who love you. alright. and as i said, i will not change my character to please everyone. if i did, at the end of the day, who will be the real Brena? ----silence----
alright, everyone... watch Geisha and i-not-stupid-too.. and do what the latter advocated. when was the last time you praised someone? when was the last time someone praised you?
-silence-
ok, you guys are fantabulous.
*brena*; timed 1:49 PM