beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Saturday, January 07, 2006
just read jiahui's blog.. she blogged something on "change", something about friends, something about friendships and how some things do not change.
gwen n jan read my blog last night. just b4 i felt like crying. and thus, they were crapping and bullying my job last night. made me so exasperated until i dont feel like crying. gwen suggests speechies start work at 7am, stop at 9pm.. go on call.. and she intends to refer all her pts to only one speechie-- ME.. if i work in the same hospital.. cause she reckon though i am getting the same pay as her as a fresh grad, i got lesser things to do and what i do is just walk around hosp and ask people to swallow. how can i have a quiet night of crying with all these nonsense crapping cheering me up leh.. of course, i wasnt allowed to cry.. with such insanity around me.
haha. to be honest, i dunno how things will be.. now, the guys are working, the girls are studying. in 3yrs time, i will be working, the rest will be studying. reckon that we will be busy w our own stuff.. and all the other crappy stuff.. some will be overseas, some will stay local. actually.. i dare not think further than a day now. cause things are enough for me to worry for a day. oh well. but i am quite sure next time, once i start working in Sg, when i get my car, meeting up will be not too bad since i can drive everyone around. as long as i got a map in hand, i will navigate myself.
i feel the strain on all my friendships alr. be it, in Singapore, in Australia, in anywhere of the world. lets just say.. ok, there're some friendships that will stay.. but actually, no matter what, i will feel the bit of strain everytime i am out. haha. ok lar, that's not in the case of sm&the rest cause i meet them for pool every other day. when i am in Australia, things are fine btw all of us.. haha. like the period where i didnt meet up w pp for a long time, i feel tonnes weird.. it is because of it, that i feel seriously scared to go out nowadays..
sigh. i dont like to give false facade when i go out w my friends. when i am bad mood, it is spelt "BRENA IS IN A BAD MOOD" right across my face.. the thing is that.. it is in those ink where only good friends can see.. as for those who cant see it, then too bad.. so, when i feel the strain w all my friends and i go out w them, you can see me perpetually with the "?" look on my face.. which even my lecturer can tell. haiya. i dunno lar.
i admit start of 2006 sucks. really really sucks. being 20yr old also sucks.. now i know, why my parents always tell me this when i was really young in pri sch.. friends whom you have now, are not those that will be stuck w you.. that's also one reason why my mum always tells me to depend on my own.. and why i rarely see my mum n dad goign out together w their friends.. it might be genetics..
sometimes it is just amazing to think who you will want to be ur bridesmaid and best man.. sometimes i just think how will life be if my world was without 2 sisters who can stop me from crying.
anyway, reasons for celebrating 21st overseas alone:
(1) oh yes, you celeb and you invite all ur friends.. from pri sch to uni.. when they turn up, they give u the blessings, say hi to you, celeb ur 21st w you, catch up with you.. then after ur 21st bday, you guys say goodbye. and no longer meet up. i dont see a pt of celebrating it this way.
(2) lets just say you want ur 21st to be a gathering of all ur friends.. but when everyone sees everyone, we have the "oh, so how're you?" and after that, everyone feels weird and strange talking to each other cause we've yet to talk to each other for such a long time. if i am going to feel oh-so-strange on my 21st or let anyone feel that way on my 21st, no way am i going to have a good one.
(3) im not in Sg for most 21st. what i am sad is that.. i am missing lionel's, sm's, kenneth's, jh's 21st birthday.. jan's 18th birthday. :( milestones of their lives that i am not present. sigh. guilt-stricken.
(4) if i am coming back Sg to celeb 21st, i also dunno who to spend it with. so, might as well do myself a good deed and not be back.
sigh. dunno lar. think too much alr.. hms. if i want to be back, i also will be back only on the day b4 my birthday.. ya, you can see how blardee reluctant i want to be back next holidays.
SUCKS!!
-bree- (anyway, this month's jan's month.. cause she keeps claiming that january's abbreviation is jan. and she's jan. fainted..)
*brena*; timed 3:17 PM