beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
//-->
Thursday, December 01, 2005
i miss VJ.. rather, i miss the friends in VJ.. though i am in Singapore.. you know, i miss those days where i getta wake up at 630am, bathe, go school, see Lionel, Ken, SM, Es, Shakey n Jiahui... at least 5 times a week.. spend most of my time with them.. you know, the scenes of JC are so vivid.. me reaching school at 720.. strolling to school, see those guys n girls, walk together to the assembly ground, bitch, go lecture, sit behind of Ken, Lion n SM... and give them occasional morning wake up slaps on the back.. until they cant stand it.. and stare back at me.. :) sweet-supplier me will give them sweets to appease them.. remember, i will just give Ken the blackcurrant sweet, SM the mentos.. and Lionel every other thing.. :)
JC1- the scene is typical of the above.. lunch break was with the girls.. any other breaks will be with the guys.. unless the last break of the day.. i will spend it w my ex.. JC1 was the time i got attached.. so, most of the after school time was with him, and we will roam around in Suntec City.. well, that was the only place to roam anyway.. mon n fri will be his track days, tues n thurs will be his softball.. and wed will be our only free day to go out.. other than saturdays n sundays.. after school, if i end earlier than him, i will be waiting for him to end and we'll walk to bus stop and sit bus to bedok together.. eat at the hawker centre there and he will send me home fr there to kembangan mrt.. i will wait for his train to pasir ris or tamp be fore walking back home.. ha. cause of the regular eating at hawker centres, he was the first person to be able to make me eat tofu n veg successfully.. haha. well, there aint other guys around who has the power to do so anymore. i am back to my carnivorous lifestyle. if i have sch n he doesnt, i will walk him out of school to bus stop after we lunch together. if he has sch n i dont, i will find some other people to walk me to the bus stop. those were the days manz.. haha. remembered those rainy rainy days where i got so worried cause we are people who never carried brolly, i will sit a cab down to school (aft his training) fr home, fetch him fr there, stop at bedok, have dinner then go home.. but i guess all these had to stop when i was preping for my cambodia trip.. cause i spent too much time in school.. and of course, i had alot of fun. :)
JC2- somehow, February 14 onwards, i became single overnight. haha. quite funny lar.. cause the night before, i heard love songs on class 95 and they said something about 60% of the couples break up on Vday itself.. and strangely i believed i was one of the 60% and it came true.. after it, hanging out with him was totally painful.. so i hung out more with lionel, sm, ken & the girls.. apparently, i spread all my unluckiness of being single to them.. slowly, i headed the trend of everyone becoming single.. except for sm.. haha.. ya, then SARS had to happen when we were in yr2.. it was pretty much dreadful.. cause it meant that i wont see my ex for a decent couple of weeks in sch cause remembered the time we were all quarantined at home.. i mean, my mum quarantined us cause it was too dangerous to venture out.. moreover, JC2 common test 1 was the last exam that i can afford to screw up.. so, i didnt go out at all during those times.. then during those times, lionel n esmee kept me company via the net n sms.. haha. finally a good way of using sms.. during the SARS, they kinda talked me thru everything.. and i realized that i have not been contacting him thruout the SARS and i did survive.. so, i think it is that period of time that made me so much stronger a person.. that i realized i can do alot alot alot of things alone or with those precious friends of mine.. after SARS, the grp of us realize that that was the last exam we can screw up. thus, we all minutely screwed it up. haha. anyway, all my exams in VJ were screwed up. haha. so, makes no difference. haha.. we hung out as a whole grp really really often alr after it.. go out together, play pool together, eat, bitch.. lionel n i often studied together, go mrs choo's extra lessons for chem together, talked to Mr Yap tog (he was also going thru rough patch.. so, both of us were equally miserable at that time).. haha. it was SARS and all the breakups that brought all of us together.. all of us-- the Bedok 85 gang. hahahaha. Bedok 85 is a food centre hor. not some underworld triad thing. ya larz.. rather, lionel, sm, ken & the girls.. haha.. ya, after that, we all ate together no matter what lunch breaks or crappy breaks.. then, A levels, then Prom.. then Army for them, then Commissioning, then us, the girls going overseas... 2 years and on.
i miss seeing all of them in VJ sch uniform, though i think we look super tut then.. haha.. i miss going to sch and seeing them on the new canteen benches and tables.. i miss attending lectures with them.. i miss attending tutes with them.. i miss suaning them.. i miss jus slapping my hands on their backs.. (OK, i only do the worse stuff to kenneth.. haha. this includes slapping him, scolding him.. blah blah.. everytime after one slap, he will beg me to stop alr. haha.).. i jus miss them in VJ.. i really really do miss having sch n lesons with them..
anyway, got a mysterious sms fr Malaysia yday.. (this happens when u have friends all over the world).. i suspect it is fr Val. ok, i gotta say something. No. 1, no one calls me "my love :)" ok.. cause i am not attached to you and i get offended when u do it, even if u were joking. I AM NOT A TARGET OF YOUR BUTT OF JOKES OR ANYTHING OK. even if jay chou does this to me, i will get really quizzed like. hey, you talking to the right person?? excuse me, other than Kenneth who does that and when he does that, i give im 100000000 slaps on the back when he cant stand 1 of it, no one does that to me.. so please. i get really offended. i dont care who the hell you are, just that guys who do that really IRKS me and PISSES me off. i thought i mentioned it about the "my princess" part alr.. no one is entitled to call me that or variations of that. PLEASE. i mean, pls.. even close friends, family dont do that.. so, PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT. cause once i start hating you and stop talking to you, that is it. and it is really detestful. Kenneth is legalised to do it cause i know he is Kenneth.. that grp of pp know me inside out, outside in.. and no one can replace them. No.2, no one gives me a foreign number and tell ME to call them. PLEASE. why should a girl call a guy overseas n spend all that $??!! i only call back home fr Aussie to Sg.. to those people who are close to me and those whom i wanna talk to.. rather, as long as ur in trouble in Sg, and i am in Aust, i will ring you no matter what.. but i m in Sg now. my friends are all here. i dont see a need to ring people up.
right, no.1 might be the reason why i can never stand guys who suddenly tell me rubbish stuff or gao bai. OMG. PLEASE.. it will be flattering if it was mutual.. but if it isnt, i will hang up on you, scold you alot and never ever talk to you ever again. ha. yes, i know it is scary. yes i can be really scary to people.. (rather, i have been scary to everyone since semester 2 in brisbane started.. cause there're countless of people i hae scolded.) haha. sigh. maybe that's why i am still single. whahahaha.. unless you're an old old friend, and you know the way to tell me things, or you do it by ur daily actions like making me happy everyday (which is very hard) .. if not, it would be 99% chance that you freak the daylights outta me.. and you will know who you are.. when u r the person whom i always turn to when i am in trouble, when i am in doubt, when i need you.. and u r 24/7 by me n running in my thoughts.. and THOSE PEOPLE... are all my friends in Singapore.. yes, you you you and you.. those who're in Sg right now.. i love you all! :)
-bree-
pls: i really really miss JC life.. even though i sucked at my exams, i cant make it at all... i miss those friends. :(
*brena*; timed 2:13 PM