beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
//-->
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
i just read esmee's n jiahui's blog.. i reckon esmee's feeling a little lovesick cause the first person she sees and the last person she sees in Perth is always sz.. and now, she "cant spend every waking moment" with sz.. haha.. :) and for jiahui, rather, she's busy with her little life singing n with weiyong.. heh.. and esmee's suffering from post-cultural revival syndrome.. jiahui never thought much about it.
yeeps. people change. i think i have changed quite alot too.. well, i am seriously more homebound.. n refusal of dates have reached a new high.. i rather spend time with intellectual stimulating books than be out with people. i changed.. oh yes i have... everyone's busy right on with their life.. i am amazed at my family.. my elder sis n younger sis are also two busy little souls.. one with work, and jan, with her busy social life with her fellow choir mates and that is HARD to grab her at home.. and her naughty hp keeps buzzing and buzzing.. to the extent i sometimes want to slam it against the wall.. my mum.. she bascially became so adapted to her new life without her 2nd daughter around.. she goes for what 2-3km jogs every frekaing morning.. she weighs lesser than me.. she line-dances.. she basically found her own life as well since i have gone.. so is my dad.. stuff he does now, are jus basically preping for lessons, and carpentry at home.
the rooms in my hse have changed oritentation.. icant recognize my sister's room.. and for me, my own personal space and study table has been relegated to only the small kitchen-like table, outside the toilet.. and that table basically houses all my stuff, including my laptop, my vcds, my cds, my accessories.. my previous standing in the house has been swallowed by jan's A lvl books. very strange to return home..
hmms... reverse cultural shock. i still cant get used to the weather (what sorta weather is that, HUMID RAIN), i cant get used to people talking singlish.. when i see/hear Ausse slang and people, i get OH-SO-EXCITED.. the feeling of being lost has been decreasing.. but there're heaps of things that i still not know about singapore.. i still can find my way around orchard.. but "Queen St" is not the flea market street at Bugis but the "Brisbane City's Queen St Mall" or the "Adelaide St".. i pay attn to 2 countries and its news.. i feel overwhelmly sad when i miss sth big in Australia.. like the meterorite in Perth.. esmee wonders what will happen after 5yrs.. girl, a piece of advice, carpe diem.. dont think about what will happen... cause i think all of us will get sick and tired of Australia.. like how we did when we left Sg after getting sick and tired of Sg.. to be honest, i am STILL SICK AND TIRED OF SG.. but im trying to live with it. and yes, i simply cant figure out why people has to STARE at me when i am out, when i just open my mouth to enquire.. oh common. i may look like an Asian to you, but the thing is that.. i am NOT in Sg for tonnes of months.. and if i ask stupid qn like "wha! you guys have an outlet here!" when that outlet is there for like 3-4months. you cant blame me you know.. and if i do speak in a funny way, why not just leave me alone.. when i dress up in a funny way, PLEASE HELL DO LEAVE ME ALONE as well.. i mean, i simply cant figure out how can you guys wear jeans.. with such weather..
right on, for us, we'll still need some time to get used to Sg.. the place we once called home.. to be honest, if someone was to ask me where is home, i will go "australia" right now.. but oh well, it might take some people to remind us that we hold red passports, we hold pink ICs.. and when we're back in Australia, we'll start thinking of all these i-dunno-why-i-cant-get-used-to-Sg thing.. though i somehow feel very very left out, even with Lionel n the rest.. Lionel+SM+Kenneth can rattle on about army, work, Singapore uni.. Es is also busy w her perth friends.. jh has also another life with her melb friends.. as for me, i dont really like to hang out with any other random person on the street, therefore, i hang out alone.. cause there're realyl v few pp in contact w me now.. ya, sometimes, figured it out that.. on the day i left for Brisbane, 10 Feb 2005, when i left behind so many things.. Lionel, SM, Ken, JH n Es.. they are already given the choice to go ahead with their lives without me.. and i have also given myself that option.. just that their lives now are with others and my life now is to my work.. to be dreadfully honest, i think on the day that i left, i always feel that that "I" have sorta died down in significance.. part and parcel of life. no one stays with me an entire lifetime. i acknowledge that.
now time to move on.
*brena*; timed 2:10 PM