beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Saturday, November 05, 2005
random mumblings...
weather outside (Brisbane, St Lucia): Rain clouds gathering with the sunshine of sunset. Wind gently blowing, very nice weather.
temp: ~23Deg to 24Deg
was talking to kenneth just now and half way while bathing and thinking what to blog, i freaking hit my head against the wall.. (i told you i am going psychotic RIGHT) i thought of what to blog alr.. the stages of romance to me.. heh. kenneth says that the guy for me must be the "fun fun, hyper hyper, exciting and yet stable kind".. which i totally agree.. alright, i cant stick to boredom, you know.
50-50 male personality.. i attribute that to the fact that, my escapism behaviour when i am stressed/sad/troubled.. tend to mirror a guy's.. i hide in my little shell, go into it and never come out since then. no one comes near me, unless i allow them to.. (though these few days, pp whom i once allowed to come near me are slowly drifting away from me) i tend to love freedom too much, i tend to be too daring for a girl. anyway, back to the stages of romance:
Guy asks girl (girl cant ask guy..) girl says yes cause she's touched.. girl should wait for a couple of days later b4 telling parents.. cause she needs to think of how to phrase it to her parents or siblings, without shocking them.. and she herself needs to overcome the shock that she's attached. haha. its a shock cause from now on, she has one more person to love like a family member, her freedom is dropped by 2fold, that guy she's going out with might be her husband...
First Stage: Madly in love stage. (say, the first 6months into a relationship.. if you're lucky, it can last for a few years)
Stage where people glow really alot.. where they dont seem to fall sick cause of the "glow of love" whahaha.. where people announce that "they're in love" the guy and girl cant stay apart from each other.. gotta stick to each other 24/7.. like conjoined twins like that.. alot of sweet mushy mushy words exchanged.. intimacy increases by 10fold.. those late nights together, those sudden appearing bouquets of roses, flowers, everyth.. aww... very impt to bring that guy home during this stage.. cause ur family will determine if the following stages are to follow.
Second stage: Dying madness stage. (after a yr or so, maybe 2yrs.. if you're lucky)
Stage of falling madly in love dying down.. reality pops in.. both parties still show happiness togehter.. but, there's increasing sightings of flaws.. a little quarrel and squabble here and there.. but always seems to be able to patch up cause of some little loving cutey words.. still together, but, cant be together 24/7.. lesser sightings together. but nevertheless, still in love.
Third stage: Flaw stage. (3yrs and above)
Flaws show full force. Distance will show that it can kill. (distance, for i know and experience even as friends, is a merciless murderer) Quarrels become more often.. sometimes, to the extent of cold war.. even little things that both parties do, will show increase probability of quarrelling.. Guy starts looking for freedom (ie, go out with other guy friends).. Girl starts looking for freedom (ie go out shopping and bitching with other friends without telling guy.) Guy/girl starts being paranoid.. What is reqd in this stage: Patience, understanding, and the im-always-here phrase/attitude.
Fourth stage: the nothing-to-talk stage. (3yrs and above)
the couple goes out hand in hand.. and yes, from a song from Z-Chen "Silence has become our topic of conversation lately".. the couple cant find common topic to talk.. cant understand, cant get along.. at this stage, guy usually thinks "its the wrong girl. i gotta let her go since i feel she's happier without me." MAJOR MISTAKE: BOTH PARTIES SHOULD NOT LET EACH OTHER GO AT THIS STAGE. MAKE IT THRU TOGETHER, AND YOU CAN LAST. most prone for breaking up stage.
the rest of the stages, i haven really thought of it. whaha.. 3rd n 4th stage usually comes hand in hand together.. i know 4th stage v well, cause of personal experience. i think after the 4th stage, its the go on holiday together, hang out together, plan for marriage together stage...
uh well.. for someone like me, who desires/needs quite a number of sweetness/surprise/excitement in my life.. sigh.. dun really know if such a life will suit me.
-bree-
*brena*; timed 4:35 PM