beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Monday, August 15, 2005
its week4. so fast. one month is almost gone. today, i discovered sth.. i got a psyc exam and oral presentation next week. Week after, i got anat exam, ling exam (DREADED LING. PHONETICS!!), psyc essay due. greatness out of the great, i have yet to do any reading up on psyc essay, psyc exam, anat exam n ling exam..
I told jasmine, my yr2 snr, entering into Ling Lecture hall now, its like entering into a battefield. Go into it, and i always come out wounded.. Mentally.. today's ling lecture.. i was supposed to distinguish Broad Aussie accent, Cultivated Aussie Accent, NZler accent, Brit accent, American Accent n Canadian accent.. (HELLO???!! I have yet to even talk to ANY other of them.. how i know their accent??!! and i haven settled my phonetics!!!!) Jus now at SS&H lib, i almost wanted to jus break down, pack my bag and call it quits.. Go back, work another yr, apply NUS. The thing abt studying here. I had no idea what shit i was in. I thought.. spending jus 4yrs, get a diamond rice bowl. Speech, like MBBS, dont need further degree in order to work.. Postgrad studying is jus for those pp who wants to do more than simple medical stuff.. we're not like engineers, need to do post-grad, not like psychologists, not like alot of other professions.. so, ya, 4yrs in exchange for a good life.. sounds good right. what was my initial aim to study speech? I believed that God created that for me. Psyc was my fav, i was good at interpersonal skills (notice the past tense. only til recently, it was not.), i was good at making pp communicate to me.. i thought it was a given price by Him.. until jus now, i found myself praying really hard.. asking Him if this was the real path he wanted me to take.. asking Him for guidance and understanding, faith and strength to push on.. i thought i needed it.. made myself instant noodles jus now, then i think, God gave me a msg on the wall... cause on the wall, there was a poster.. reading "Dont Quit".. i never paid attn to that wall until jus now. i wanted to do speech, cause its a medical job.. it has good career path.. i dun really care abt the shit $ i earn.. yes, its 10,000 pounds per mth if i work in the UK.. i can earn like a registra in the hospital, solo income 7k in Sg.. but so what? 4yrs of cramming.. and HOPING to get a degree.. shesh.
I wanted to walk out of lecture jus now, tell myself, to convert n downgrade my degree to a science degree. Then i realized, i was a freaking dumb idiot if i did tt.. cause i would have made it to NUS and studied real hard n be dean's lister.. Yanni scolded me as well.. for giving up. One of the many days, i am wondering why i am here, studying speech.. Next reason why i wanted to study speech, i want to work in a hospital.. i want to be with doctors, nurses, caring for my patients.. once agn, libby said.. this sem decides if u want to be a speechie for life.. its like, stepping into MBBS and never returning.. cause what you're doing, is super specialized.. there's nothing u can do in future, other than what u study.. like MBBS, u be doctor. SpPath, u be speechie.. no one can replace u in the society.. u cant do what others do.. not like Sci degree, u can become the cashier at Woolies or be a teacher or a tourguide.. gwen, we dinno what shit we were in.. you in MBBS, me in SpPath...
i dunno larz. its like the A levels.. its repeating itself.. 4 core subjects.. all sucky.. :( sigh. on the lighter note, V replied all my 12Qn i had.. though there're some answers tt i totally dont agree with or dont see eye-to-eye with, at least he tried to asnwer those qn.. til this friday, i will be going to seek God's help by going to Kurong, this Christian bookshop, to buy bible and seek more guidance from Him.. and later going to do some bible studying with OCF.. on Sunday, its church day... where i can ask Him heart-to-heart.. to guide me n give me the strength..
til tmr, i will be driving on Brisbane roads.. having my driving lessons tmr. pray hard. pray hard. sigh.. where the flesh is weak, the mind is weak..
*cross finger* *sigh* *cries* *sobs*
*brena*; timed 7:02 PM