beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Sunday, August 28, 2005
for pp who reads my blog, you know how my younger sis and i love to write little stuff to each other right? Like poems and stuff.. and remember my wallet story that she wrote in a reply to mine? i found another story.. was just random surfing and i found this story.. about leaf, wind and tree.. its written in 3 different viewpts.. whatever it is, it teaches us sth: open ur eyes, and ur heart to pp around you.. for those who know how to cherish their partners, good on you.. love them forever cause you're lucky enough to be with that one person you will end up with for life.. and love that tree/leaf.. for it will stick to you for life once the puzzle matches.. for those who are seeking their partners, wait.. wait for fate.. wait for one day where you meet someone who will blow you away.. or wait for that one day you realize the person you waiting for is jus right in front of your eyes... and for those who are holding on to someone whom you know, will not belong to you, cause you're the wrong leaf on the wrong tree, let time be the testimony and let time prove that, you belong to some other tree around.. jus that, you dunno it yet.. and for me.. i am clueless. wait no more. must read it ok... =) though its really long..
here it goes:
Here's the first part:Tree
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Over time I started to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in JC. There's one gal whom I loved a lot but never dared go after her.
She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary gal. But I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her.The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watched me chase after gals, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress but I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what caused her to cry but instead laughed at her the whole day. She was alone crying in the classroom after school. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watched her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes were filled with shock. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laughed & joked with me as though nothing had happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heartache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know who is the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I can't show her how my heart ached but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heartache is so strong that I could't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cried. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence? During graduation, I received a sms. I cried again upon reading it. I haven't read it since then.
It said "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her
Leaf
During JC days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 2 years of JC I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt.
Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's more like rotten sour lemons a hundred times over. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hid my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.Time after time, my heart was hurt.
I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But i can never figure out his feelings towards me. I coudn't bring myself to ask him about it straight. Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. Waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. Hoping that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me.Because of this, I waited for him.
The 2 years were the hardest to go through & I really wanted to give up. Sometimes, I wonder why I should continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompanied me for 2 years. Towards the end of my 2nd year, someone else begain to go after me. He would pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.
In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind just a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
and the third part of the story:Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust of wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfered to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at us playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit.
Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. He wasn't around as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw him scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left.
The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepted the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away." "It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls.
I knew that she doesn't love me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never gave up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that one day she will agree to me my girlfriend.
During one phone conversation I asked her again once more. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head." "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly.
I hanged up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & pressed her door bell. I hugged her tightly the moment she opened the door.
But sometimes i couldn't help but wonder:Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
sigh.
*brena*; timed 8:29 PM