beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Thursday, July 14, 2005
I AM BACK~ passport is overly active this yr.. sighz. yes to tangy, haha.. I am going to kill you for that cut on janice's hand.. aint you supposed to take care of her when i am away??
Ok, back to the pt. yes, after 5days of mad shopping, i am back. Uh, mad is defined as I spent more money on shopping than my air tickets+lodgings there. Spent more money than all my trips combined to Gold Coast. I got enough bags to last me for an entire lifetime in Aussieland.. i can CHANGE bags everyday for months and clothes, i can wear like 2-3 whole months without washing (speaking of laundry)... skirts... those paris-hilton skirts, i got 2 of each colour.. yellow, green, white, pink, blue+many more.. bought comforter, bolster, converse sneakers.... ya lar. you all get the idea..just went MAD on shopping..
Emotionally wise, i felt super strange when i was there w Gwen n her bf. sighz.. strange as in strange lor... sighz.. it was agst me lor.. to go out with couples.. Elton asked that once mar.. he asked like "Go out w ur sis n her bf lar!" then i was like no no no.. sighz. there goes my principles. heh. first night n last night couldnt sleep.. and when i cant, i listen to my mp3.. and whenever it played "she", i pictured my wedding video.. all the different photos.. haha.. with the guy's blurry face.. like the ending of the song (it has 3 "she"s right).. first she is my photo.. next she is he proposing, last she is well... our wedding photo.. haha.. alot of crappy stuff lar.. but at this stage, i trust no one with my emotions just yet..
Oh. talking about that. Mich and I were talking about homophobic and philophobic. Which is my msn nick. Homophobic as seen in homo sapiens, means scared of opposite sex. Philophobic means scared of falling in love. (Mich, was this what i told you? i forgot..) anyway, she wanted to blog her comments, and i think i should blog mine too. since its my nick on MSN. Falling in love to me.. will just prob mean that hurt comes together with happiness.. hand in hand.. ultimately, if things dont work out, i get 100X the hurt. which is totally not worth it. and of course, for me to fall in love, it involves the opposite sex. Therefore, i am scared that i will get hurt by them. haha.. ya lar.. i know pp telling me, you wont know anyth unless you try.. this is love.. that sorta thing.. but i think for a person who has now, grown porcupine spikes to love, its pretty much hard to convince.. sighz. I dont seem to picture happiness now if i am in love leh.. i dunno. things have been weird for me.. as in, since the day i declared tt im not going to care about him.. i am still feeling normal when i am supposed to be totally sad n crushed.. maybe jus because things are dragging on for too long, its time for me to take a break.. he himself dont even know that i went bangkok and back.. his friends are the ones who know? was telling mich, loving a person needs more than love. Needs courage, patience etc etc.. I cant find the courage to accept another person in my life or to love another person.. I channelled all the courage to living overseas w/o my parents.. Courage.. i dunno.. there might be people in my life who can show me and give me the courage to love again.. but, sighz.. I believe that God always gives us just that special ONE person.. who we'll spend our entire whole lifetime with.. that ONE person.. who will love me for who i am, accept me for who i am, show me the strength and the courage to love again, and thus love him... I am just waiting for God to silently tell me that, yes, that person is the one... =) as for now, I haven heard a word.. so, resigned to my fate. haha.. that "Mr. Lonely" song is blasting in my ears!
anyway, when i am away, janice got trouble.. :( i never called her cause the phonecard was w Gwen.. wanted to talk to her.. sighz. what a sister i am... did that twice alr.. first when i was in Brisbane, second when i was in Bangkok. sorry jan.. :( i think i am a super lousy sister.. esp when u got trouble, no one to talk to, and i am not ard... sighz.. mum might be a lil cranky at times (i know she doesnt understand.. i konw the exasperated feeling.. cause when i was in Aussieland, when i felt SHIT, she also dun understand..) dont keep things inside... for me, i cry it out... cause there's nothing wrong to cry... after a whole bout of crying, jus get over it. sighz.. going to write her a letter later, then prob start studying again.. you know, i realized i got just 3 weeks left to my due date of my first report-assgnmt.. damn it.
any case, i will update blog again. going to free one of my days for a pure girls out day with janice.
*brena*; timed 12:44 PM