beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Saturday, June 18, 2005
today.. has been a serene day with occasional outbursts.. of noise.. that woke me up from my nap.. but trying to curb it.. desperately.. they were talking outside my rm jus now... again.. so loudly about viewing houses.. they're moving out? well, might be good for the other duch girls.. i think they came and arrived to that decision a few days ago when they know that their sleeping hours totally not compatible with colleges, their way of lives and their thinking not compatible with college... but.. well.. they've been talking about moving out and visiting houses since week1????? haha... but i think Sister Behan might impose something on them.. since they informed them really late.. i dont think its my problem anyway... if they want to keep contact while we're in Sg or next sem.. then so be it~ Dont want then dont want..
Jus read a father's day article on Courier Mail.. and boy was it touching.. and listening to Josh Groban's "You raise me up"... didnt help either... the article talked about how fathers will always think that their daughters are still the babies they saw.. how fathers want to be their daughters' bodyguards for life.. how fathers love their children and want to protect them.. esp about the boyfriends bit.. sighz.. i think i am pretty emotionally touchy lately... any bit of things can make me cry, laugh, smile, angry.. maybe its the anxiety of the exams.. and the suspense of going back home.. Not very sure the reason... or maybe its PMS.. or maybe its just mood swings.. but it takes little to touch my threshold nowadays.. sighz.. i also dont wish to be like that..
Jus read some friends' friendster accounts.. haha.. that Jeremy in my dreams is attached lar~ in Uni now, i think... which makes me wonder.. how come when you're in NUS, NTU.. its so easy to get attached while when you're in an overseas uni, its so hard to get someone who's of something like you? (maybe exceptional for esmee..) hmmmz.. strangest thing is that... b4 coming overseas, everyone told me, brena, you surely can find a bf here one.. overseas.. usually when you're lonely, need care n concern.. then some guy will take care of you.. then both of you all will end up together.. that sorta thing.. but ya.. ok, first thing first... its really hard to get someone of the same educational qualities as you... i dunno but, i am 100% sure my dad wants me to get someone who's of the same education status as me... the fixed route of sec sch-jc-uni-masters thing.. Feel that like for JH and Esmee, Melb Uni and Murdoch Uni.. seems to be flooding with guys of that sort... while in UQ.. it feels just strange... 2 people (guys) told me.. Poly grads and JC grads.. really cant communicate with each other.. is it true? i dunno.. i am clouded. not at the right position to say that cause i am the ONLY JC grad here? strange.. why did i choose UQ? La trobe got MORE JC students i think.. or maybe cause the JC guys need to serve army.. then, mostly will go NUS? i dunno~
sighz... my nick now on msn.. 我不恐懼愛情... 恐懼的是愛太深了以後帶來心碎. I am not afraid to fall in love. I am jus scared tt loving too deeply will hurt. sighz. it makes me really think (1) why am i here? (2) why do i feel lonely? as though i have no one with me now? (3) have all guys died? (4) say there's a guy, but he's not ur dream guy.. the tall dark handsome guy.. but God gave him to you, will you still accept him? (5) do i REALLY REALLY have a friend in Queensland?
Love-- must wait.. i told Jiahui that... one day, when we wait long enough.. when we try to hide away from it, it will eventually find us... heh.. jackson said that 4mths single for him, its too long.. look at me.. 2.5yrs and counting.. that sorta love that has to wait.. may be painful.. but then.. its that sort of wait where you know, once you found him, you will never ever let him go.. heh..
Oopz. i think i forgot to include something. i am going Thailand... with a group of guys+my sis+her bf.. the guys are her bf's friends.. Single.. Available.. and Smart.. (ya, army scholars..) whahaha...*evil laughter* haha... no lar, didnt i also mention, i believe that love must cultivate one? not within 5 days?? haha...
i WILL update later if its noisy.. if its not (good riddance) then give thanks to God for the peace. i go seek inner peace now.
pls: is there sth that put a fullstop to feelings? to numb everything i feel now? a medicine or sth?
*brena*; timed 6:44 PM