beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Thursday, June 23, 2005
Today was the end of my exams.. a few more days to the end of the semester.. a few more days to home.. as the title of this blog suggest, packing kills.. and today, i will blog the longest blog entry since i am free now.
Today, Ling exams ended.. well, i was super stressed during the exams lar!! 12qn finish within 90min, each qn less than 8min, i almost couldnt finish the paper... and even if i did, i think i missed out a couple of points here and there.. didnt manage to check thoroughly.. sighz. but wth. its done. cant get 7, cant get 6.. this sem... i think i screwed up a bit.
Aft exams, went to city with yanni.. talked to her abit, and changed all my addresses to Grace college.. the phone people gave me alot of prob.. so, i anyhow chose an address for them to bill it to.. long story.. i tihnk i changed my add on the sch's website.. i tihnk.. and i think i did more than that also... dunno lar.. ya lar.. haha... i blur le.. then, city.. went to buy chocs for my aunties and uncles, bought stuff for jan n gwen n my two cousins.. had a really good time shopping alone in the city.. i also dunno why... though it was unsafe... to walk alone.. AND oh oh. i discovered my new fav hideout.. BORDERS... heh.. yes, in Aussieland.. went in, and smelt the coffee express thing and i was like "HOME.." love borders so much man.. thebooks... whaha... even in Sg, but in Sg, its kino. heh. well.. shopping alone.. i also dunno... after that, went to Southbank to see if got movies to watch.. $5 in Aussieland.. people like me, surely rather watch it here than in Sg... then on the way back, i can start talking to myself, laugihng.. and no one cares.. that's the thing i like.. in Aussieland, you can walk ard the WHOLE of city, WHOLE of everyth and no one knows you.. you do crazy things.. also no one knows you.. no one cares.. today: bought shades, food for home, stuff for home.. alot of stuff.. but i only bought it for uhm.. my family? so, sorry if you are my students or friends.. this time round, no gifts. i am not santa claus.. if every sem buy things, i go broke.
Just finished my packing.. 90% done.. 7 boxes of stuff worth.. i also dunno what i did to get 7boxes... what i earned to get 7boxes... one luggage of clothes, one for toiletries, one for books, 3 for appliances.. alot hor. i also konw.... and uhm... lets jus say clothes... i have to scrimp and save.. i bringing home two luggages.. that is packed to the brim.. i dunno how to pack as well.. sighz.. for 5hrs, i stared blankly into my mess... i seemed to be like someone with stuff enough for 8sems... haha... ya, that's THAT many stuff i gotten.. die lor.. that's the bad thing abot shopping... haha... sighz... astrid just sat aeroplane back home.. even though i packed the earliest, i leave the latest... what sorta shit is that... sighz. farah also gone back.. farah gave me a note.. saying she will miss me the most outta the whole duch.. cause i am the nicest girl to everyone here.. sighz... made me feel sad i am going grace.. farah going union.
my back is aching like mad.. tmr is long day for me... going to grace to move my stuff.. then going to city again with jessie pek... i forgot to buy some stuff.. then MAYBE sending rui off. i dunno. i dun want sit adrian's car.. sianx. long day... then saturday, i will be super bored.. cause NO ONE WILL BE IN COLLEGE.. CAUSE EVERYONE'S BACK HOME.. AND I DETEST IT!! I WATCH THEM AND SEND THEM OFF AND ME STUCK IN DUCH WITH TWO MISERABLE JUNKIE LUGGAGES. CRAP!!! ok, enough of shouting.
exams are over. this sem is just THAT close to be finished.. i also dunno whether to be happy or sad.. happy to finish sch and return home. sad to leave aussieland.. just now, i realized how much i love aussieland.. i mean, its the place where i can really go out town, dont think about work at all, sing, laugh, talk to myself.. and then no one cares.. no one knows about me.. today's weather super chilly somemore.. and its really nice... singapore dont have it even though i everytime walk town alone.. then its like, wind blow, no sweat.. sg is full of sweat, no wind.. aussieland.. other than the studying that kills sometimes.. its actually a really nice place.. 1 sem and i dont feel like going back as yet... 4.5mths passed abit too fast.. but, i dunno if its a good thing.. now, gotta wait for my 3mths break. haha.. :) sighz.bittersweet in moving out and going back home.. man... sighz... i dunno what to do right now.. its a loss.. feeling trapped btw bitter and sweet... life is such a rubber band of tension..
crap more later. i go see jessie pek and jia her you!~ i miss my girls in sg (es&jh), i miss my sisters exceptionally tonight(jan&gwen), i miss my friends in Aussieland(the duch girls+some others).. sometimes i want to have the best of both worlds even though i know i cant.. i want Sg to experience aussie weather. then i stay in Sg forever.. i want all my friends to be there.. when i graduate, esp.. after 4yrs.. i want alot of things..
last night's blog was depressing cause i know my fairytale story and my guy of my dreams will not come.. those stories about prince+princess happily ever after is fake one... why people like me, will never find a prince one leh? disillusioned.. scared.. i got tricked.. by fairy tales.. all along.. all along.. everyday.. guys seem to love to hurt me.. they're porcupines. enough of it. sighz~ anyway, that gwen jus told me that i am going to thailand with she+xush ALONE... no guys.. i am major lightbulb lar!
---me--- with alot of trouble packing. :(
*brena*; timed 10:23 PM