beauty
love
joy
peace
faithfulness
gentleness
patience
self-control
(1) The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we dont deserve love, we think
if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man called Levine said it right. Love is the only rational act. (2) Sometimes, in the mornings, that's when i mourn. I feel around my body,
I move my fingers and my hands--whatever I can still move-- and I mourn for what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I am dying. But then, i stop. I give myself a good cry if
i need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. YOU. (3) The culture doesnt encourage us to think about regrets until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with
egotistical things, career, family, having enough money--trillions of little acts just to keep going. We dont have the habit to stand back and look at our lives "Is this all I want?" You need
someone to probe you in that direction. It doesnt happen automatically. I have found my teacher. Have you found yours? (4) Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live. Listen to that bird
on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time, you might not be as ambitious as you are. (5) Love each other or perish. Family-- nothing else can give you spiritual security. Not
money, not fame. (6) Learn to detach. Dont cling to things, because everything is impermanent. Let the experience penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. If you dont allow yourself
to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached. You're too busy being afraid, afraid of pain, grief and vulnerability. Throw yourself into these emotions. Dive in, all the way.
Then, you will know what the emotions are, and detach. (7) You have to find what's good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And age, is not
competitive. How can I be envious of where you are--when I've been there myself? (8) Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community and people around you, create something
that gives you meaning. Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you wont be dissatified, envious and longing for someone else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed
with what comes back. (9) Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.Think of my voice and I will be there. (10) Respect, compromise and talk openly. Have a common set of values in life with
your partner. (11) The biggest defect we human beings have is our short-sightedness. Invest in the human family. Invest in those you love and who love you. In the beginning of life, when we were infants,
we need others to survive, right? At the end of life, you need others to survive right? (12) Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Tears are okay. Life is a tension of opposites. (13) As long as we can love
each other, and remember, the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. Death ends a life, not a rlnship. (14) I love you, Coach. He had finally made me cry.
Above-- excerpts fr Tuesdays with Morrie... (My entries, links and tagboard are in that order -> respectively.)
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Thursday, June 16, 2005
Mood: Depressed, Confused, Sad and Remorse.
Astrid jus came over to talk to me.. Her friend, passed away within 2 months of diagnosis of leukemia.. She told me about not saying goodbye to him and thinking that within 2months, nothing will happen.. I sort of felt guilty, upon the depressed and the remorse.. Somehow, life suddenly seemed so feeble now.. So weak.. About the results, the grades, the complaints i had on my previous entry.. it seemed so insignificant.. somehow, i have started questioning myself... guilt and remorse, when i thought about me and my obsession with my 6s... Her friend, was an OCS guy.. just ORDed, waiting for uni.. drove himself to the hospital where within 24hrs went into a coma.. Sighz.. i also dunno how to comfort her.. cause she sorta teared upon talking to me.. which made me feel a little lost.. first time, people come looking for me and i am at a loss of words to comfort them.. cause everytime when people come looking for me to talk to me, to get advice, i will know what and how to talk to them.. Now, i am at a loss..
Its so feeble.. I cant imagine.. Like my past dreams, about my sisters, about him, about my grandma were to come true... NOW.. what will i do? *choy.* Its so scary... to see life like that.. Friends you saw 4mths ago, might jus one day leave you.. just like that.. when you're overseas... i dont think i can concentrate at all if i were astrid.. sigh.. yoda said "learn to let go what you're afraid of losing.." and "detach yourself.".. a skill that Mr Yap told me to attain... but i have yet to attain it... even for the little little things in life.. I think i am scared.. seeing how weak life is.. knowing that the next moment might be the last time you see the person in a lifetime.. Makes me feel like flying back home, without completing the psyc and ling paper.. to jus feel everyone in Singapore.. to just see them... feel them... i think that's all i need in the coming days.. i wanna go back... everyone back home, please take care of yourself.. anything, please tell me... dont make me feel that sense of loss.. I am really afraid. to lose everyone back home.. did i make the right choice in coming here? a place a thousand miles away from home? haha.. i hope i wont cry in the airport if i see my friends on 26th June.. and my other friends.. (lionel+ken+SM+es+jh) on the other dates..
anyway, i hate physiotherapists... even though they're my closest colleagues next time.. they made my grandma cry.. i hate ANYONE who make my family members cry.. damn.. my sis jus said therapists are the laziest pp in the world cause they dont work on saturdays and sundays... i dunno if i am starting to hate my job. sighz.
*brena*; timed 8:41 PM